I want to fuck him gently with a chainsaw

So I go from 'Happiness is a strange feeling' to this.. Yeah I know, not very good but there was a reason I said happiness was a strange feeling.
Firstly I want to say if anyone I know is reading this, you should probably learn from it! I am so sick of people not believing me when I say I am not some innocent, helpless, dependent child.
Anyway back on topic. I am completely independent and I don't rely on anybody. I am a complete bitch who enjoys seeing friends fight and I think it brings out the best in people.  However one of my "friends" is having trouble believing me. HELLO? Rule #1. She is the oldest of all our friends by quite a bit and the least mature. She had a little cry because I and my best friend wouldn't tell her what pre formal party we were going to. Grow up. We were saving you from hurt because she is our best girlfriend and you aren't. This is an exert from my last message which she hasn't replied to: "What do you want the truth? Is that really what you want because if you really want ME to tell you everything then I will but I hope you can handle it."
Secondly, she just got a new boyfriend who used to be one of my closest friends but now he is just a jerk to me. Ugh, I hate it when that happens. Can you say whipped? He also used to like another close friend of mine but she turned him down, he wanted to commit suicide and now he's with her... little suspicious don't you think? Now he thinks he's a complete badass but really he's just annoying. He also called me gay and teased me. He is the reason there are so many teenagers committing suicide.
Don't mess with me. Yeah, I'm good at playing the bitch game, I always win so don't you dare cross me, the last person that did isn't doing so well. They were kicked out and now I never have to see them again.
Rage more?